[Vhfcn-l] Monday musings

[Gary Thewlis]

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the
fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

Jonathan Clements

 

Money is something you got to make in case you don't die.

Max Asnas

 

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Scott Elledge

 

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your
annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.

Voltaire

 

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Samuel Johnson

 

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh
birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

George Burns

 

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5 Ways to Define a Sandwich, According to the Law

 

It's easy to say what a sandwich is. Grilled cheese? Definitely a sandwich.
Bacon, lettuce, and tomato? There's no question. Things start to get messy
when you specify what a sandwich isn't. Is a hot dog a sandwich? What about
a burrito, or an open-faced turkey melt?

 

The question of sandwich-hood sounds like something a monk might ponder on a
mountaintop. But the answer has real-world implications. On several
occasions, governments have ruled on the food industry's right to use the
delectable label. Now, Ruth Bader Ginsburg-pop culture icon, scrunchie
connoisseur, and Supreme Court Justice-has weighed in on the matter.

 

When pressed on the hot-button issue as to whether a hot dog is a sandwich
while appearing on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Ginsburg proved her
extreme judiciousness by throwing the question back at Colbert and asking
for his definition of sandwich before making a ruling. Her summation? A hot
dog fits Colbert's definition of a sandwich, and therefore can be considered
one.

 

While RBG's ruling may not be an official one, it matches Merriam-Webster's
bold declaration that a hot dog is a sandwich (even if the Hot Dog Council
disagrees). Officially, here's where the law stands on the great sandwich
debate.

 

1. CALIFORNIA: HOT DOGS ARE SANDWICHES

Hot dogs are often snagged in the center of the sandwich semantics drama.
Despite fitting the description of a food product served on a bread-like
product, many sandwich purists insist that hot dogs deserve their own
category. California joins Merriam-Webster in declaring that a hot dog is a
sandwich nonetheless. The bold word choice appears in the state's tax law,
which mentions "hot dog and hamburger sandwiches" served from "sandwich
stands or booths." Applying the sandwich label to burgers is less
controversial, but it's still worth debating.

 

2. MASSACHUSETTS COURT: A BURRITO IS NOT A SANDWICH

When Qdoba threatened to encroach on the territory of a Panera Bread in
Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, the owners of the bakery franchise fought back.
They claimed the Mexican chain's arrival would violate their lease agreement
with the White City Shopping Center-specifically the clause that prohibits
the strip mall from renting to other sandwich restaurants. "We were
surprised at the suit because we think it's common sense that a burrito is
not a sandwich," Jeff Ackerman, owner of the Qdoba franchise group, told The
Boston Globe.

 

The Worcester County Superior Court agreed. When the issue went before the
court in 2006, Cambridge chef and food writer Christopher Schlesinger
testified against Panera [PDF], saying, "I know of no chef or culinary
historian who would call a burrito a sandwich. Indeed, the notion would be
absurd to any credible chef or culinary historian."

 

Justice Jeffrey A. Locke ruled that Qdoba would be allowed to move into the
shopping center citing an entry in Merriam-Webster as the most damning
evidence against Panera's case. "The New Webster Third International
Dictionary describes a 'sandwich' as 'two thin pieces of bread, usually
buttered, with a thin layer (as of meat, cheese, or savory mixture) spread
between them,'" he said. "Under this definition and as dictated by common
sense, this court finds that the term 'sandwich' is not commonly understood
to include burritos, tacos, and quesadillas."

 

3. USDA: A SANDWICH IS MEAT BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF BREAD

If you want to know the definition of a certain dish, the officials at the
U.S. Department of Agriculture are good people to ask. It's their job to
make sure that the nation's supply of meat is correctly labeled. When it
comes to sandwiches, the agency follows strict criteria. "A sandwich is a
meat or poultry filling between two slices of bread, a bun, or a biscuit,"
Mark Wheeler, who works in food and safety at the USDA, told NPR. His
definition comes from the Food Standards and Labeling Policy Book used by
the department (the USDA only covers the "labeling of meat, poultry, and egg
products," while the FDA handles everything else, which is why the USDA's
definition excludes things like grilled cheese). Not included under their
umbrella of foodstuff served between bread are burritos, wraps, and hot
dogs.

 

4. ALSO THE USDA: A BURRITO IS A "SANDWICH-LIKE PRODUCT"

The USDA's definition may not be as simple and elegant as it seems. A
sandwich is one thing, but a "sandwich-like product" is different territory.
The same labeling policy book Mark Wheeler referred to when describing a
sandwich lumps burritos into this vague category. Fajitas "may also be" a
sandwich-like product, as long as the strips of meat in question come
bundled in a tortilla. Another section of the book lists hot dogs and
hamburgers as examples of sandwich-type products when laying out inspection
policies for pre-packaged dinners. So is there an example of a
meat-wrapped-in-carb dish that doesn't belong to the sandwich family?
Apparently strombolis are where the USDA draws the line. The Food Standards
and Labeling Policy Book clearly states the product "is not considered a
traditional sandwich" [PDF].

 

5. NEW YORK: IF IT'S SERVED ON SOMETHING REMOTELY BREAD-LIKE, IT'S A
SANDWICH

When it comes to sandwiches, New York doesn't discriminate. In a bulletin
outlining the state's tax policy, a description of what constitutes a
sandwich warrants its own subhead. The article reads:

 

"Sandwiches include cold and hot sandwiches of every kind that are prepared
and ready to be eaten, whether made on bread, on bagels, on rolls, in pitas,
in wraps, or otherwise, and regardless of the filling or number of layers. A
sandwich can be as simple as a buttered bagel or roll, or as elaborate as a
six-foot, toasted submarine sandwich."

 

It then moves on to examples of taxable sandwiches. The list includes items
widely-believed to bear the label, like Reubens, paninis, club sandwiches,
and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Other entries, like burritos, gyros,
open-faced sandwiches, and hot dogs, may cause confusion among diners.

 

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Witness to some of the bloodiest battles in history, Ulysses S. Grant could
not stomach the sight of animal blood. Rare steak nauseated him.

 

John Adams was the first  president to reside in the White House, moving in
November, 1800 while the paint was still wet.

 

Before becoming a politician, Lyndon B. Johnson taught school in  Texas.

 

Harry Truman popularized the saying, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out
of the kitchen." 

 

Jimmy Carter was the sixth cousin of Richard Nixon.

 

Gerald Ford once worked as a fashion model for Cosmopolitan and Look
magazines in the 1940's. He was on this Cosmopolitan cover with Phyllis
Brown in April 1942. Illustrator Bradshaw Crandall.

 

Ulysses S. Grant smoked 20 cigars a day, which probably caused the throat
cancer that resulted in his death.